Torn
by sillybella
Summary: Twilight Challenge Forum June Challenge: Challenge: Write a oneshottwoshot of any length describing the interaction between Sam and Emily when Sam mauled her. Post date: July10, 2007.


Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

Challenge: Write a one-shot/two-shot of any length describing the interaction between Sam and Emily when Sam mauled her.

Thanks to Bronzehairedgirl and Cocoa for jumping in to beta when I asked at the last minute.

_**Torn**_

by silly bella

"What's come over you, Sam?" Tears welled in Emily's eyes. "Why are you doing this?" The light from her porch surrounded her like a halo in the evening darkness.

If only I could tell her just what had come over me. The elders had forbidden it. I could go to school, but college wasn't an option anymore, even with a full ride. Nothing had been so hard as writing that letter refusing the scholarship I had earned. At least, not until today.

Before this happened, Emily had been part of my future. College was my ticket out of the reservation, and I was taking her with me. We wanted a home. A family. Together. She was the only girl I've ever cared about. The only woman I would ever want to be with. But now, that future is as impossible as college. Even if it weren't, how could I tie her to a monster? Because that's what I had become. Emily could only be a part of my past now.

I've loved her ever since I can remember. Her mom has a picture of us kissing when we could barely walk. She's been my first dance, my first date, my first kiss – and I'm not talking about her mom's picture of us – and my best friend. We'd always been able to talk about anything. Not having Emily to talk to when I changed made it so much more difficult. But even that couldn't compare to walking away from her. No matter how much I knew I needed to do it, needed to let her find someone who could be honest with her as I could never be again, someone who wasn't the monster I'd become, it was killing me. What's more, I could see it in her eyes. It was killing her, too.

"Sam Uley, what is it you aren't telling me?" She blinked as the tears spilled down her face. Her beautiful face. Those eyes, so deep I could get lost in them, with thick, dark lashes that brushed against her perfectly carved cheeks. Full lips that bowed in a luscious smile. But she wasn't smiling now. It didn't matter; even crying, she was perfection. "If you're ending this, at least have the decency to tell me why."

_Why._ Exactly what I couldn't tell her. If I could tell her, I wouldn't need to do this.

"I'm serious, Sam. Over Thanksgiving, we were making plans for the future. You were the one who brought up marriage. Now you want to walk away? Fine. Walk away. But tell me what happened to change the way you feel. You owe me that." She closed her eyes and swallowed hard. "If you ever loved me, tell me what happened."

"I don't want to talk about it, Emily." I can't talk about it. Even if I could, I wouldn't want to bring you into this world. I could feel the anger stirring inside me. They told me to talk to her over the phone, to end things from a distance. _Don't take any chances._ She deserved more than a phone call. I least I could give her that. But the anger was there, stirring and rising within me. I took deep breaths to calm down.

"Don't you dare say that to me, Sam Uley. Don't even think about it." Her voice, sharp as a new hunting knife, no, sharp as my new claws and teeth, ripped through me. I lowered my head. I should have listened. "Sam, what's wrong?" Even angry at me, love crept into her voice. It calmed me. "Talk to me," she whispered. "You seem scared of something, Sam. First, you disappear for weeks. Then you give up your scholarship, and I know how hard you worked for that. Now you want to give up on us. Tell me what's wrong."

I wanted to tell her. More than anything, I wanted to. What would she say if I did? Would she think I was crazy? She knew the legends as well as I did, the ones about the werewolves and the cold ones. We'd told them around campfires since we were kids, trying to scare each other with monsters. Now I was one of the monsters. And if everything the elders told me was true then I'd become a monster for no reason. If the Cullens were vampires, and I still wasn't sure about that, but if they were, they didn't feed on people. I'd lost everything for nothing. I felt the anger rise again.

"Tell me, Sam. Tell me you don't love me. If you can do that; if you can look me in the eye and tell me you don't love me, I'll let you go." She reached for my hand and I pushed her away. I met her gaze, staring deep into her soul, this girl I loved more than anything in my life. How could she ask me to tell her that I didn't love her? That was the only thing I could still hold on to. Maybe the only thing about me that was still human.

She watched me, waiting, but I didn't speak. "Your hands are shaking, Sam. I've never seen you like this."

Trust me, it gets worse. "I need to go," I muttered, my voice husky with misery. I turned, taking deep breaths to steady myself. I had to keep it together.

Then I felt her hand on my shoulder. "I won't just stand here and watch you walk away. I can't."

I wanted to shout at her, to tell her to stop making this harder. I turned and raised my arm to move her hand away. It was too late. My body exploded. I tried to draw my hand – my paw back in time, but instead, it slashed down her face. Her screams and my howls melded together into one message of pain. Horrified, I tried to phase, to go back to my human form, but I couldn't make myself. Emily, my beautiful Emily, lay there on the ground, bleeding. I hoped only unconscious. I thought it couldn't get any worse, but I'd never imagined this. The elders had warned me, but I had been too stubborn to listen. Now Emily might die. Some protector I was. It was Emily who was strong, not me. Even as I changed before her eyes from the man she loved to a monster from her worst nightmares, she had looked into my eyes with love, not fear. She trusted me, but I was weak and scared.

Her screams brought Jared and Paul with Sue Clearwater. I could only run away to hide and watch, hoping, praying, that I hadn't killed the one I loved most. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't change back. I could smell her blood with every breath; see the stains that covered my claws. The claws of a monster. An animal. Could I ever be human again?


End file.
